True but thats because hes a fetus.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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