the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Green mimosas i think yes
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
