Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
