Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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