Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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