If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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