I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
