I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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