Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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