I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
