You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
