You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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