I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
