Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
