Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
