***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
