At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
