He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She told me I should be a condom model.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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