on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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