So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Don't tell me you're on acid again
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
