Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
