ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
