I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
