I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
