I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
