That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
