He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
