I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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