so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Randomize
