I'm eating all of the evidence.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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