Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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