we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
