just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
