I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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