went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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