i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
