As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
