somebody snuck up and got me drunk
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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