I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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