nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
As shirtless as possible
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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