I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
When did we convert life to cartoon?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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