I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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