Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
