took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
