who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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