this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
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