im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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