I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He shit in the fireplace
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
