Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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