is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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