9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
