Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Please don't give away my fajitas
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
