His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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