she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
