My hair reeks of homosexuality.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Also, beer. Big fan.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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