it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize