you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
the room spins SO much faster in panama
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
