Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize