So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
