I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
