Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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