i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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