at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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