i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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